Bridges

In July of 2012, I had the pleasure of announcing that I had become a published author, with my first book, Hotel of Lost Souls. In February, I had the joy of announcing the sequel, Pet! 

If you like vampires and Urban Fantasy (especially Anita Blake or Sookie Stackhouse), then you should like my books! Hotel and Pet were a blend of Urban Fantasy and Psychological Horror. Bridges is much more Urban Fantasy/Dark Fantasy. It explores the relationships between the characters and Zack finding his place in his world. It's about life and death and life after death.

From the back cover:

When Zack Henderson made the decision to abandon his ordinary human life, he thought he was giving up on any semblance of normality. The last five years of his life have certainly given him no reason to believe otherwise.

Normal is a point of view.

Zack and his family aren't very traditional, but they are most definitely a family. Now a new threat has moved into town to attempt to destroy it. For years they have put off moving on with their lives. Now it is finally time to face the bridges that once seemed so far away. They can only hope that the threat from the darkness doesn't burn them as they cross.

You can read a sample chapter on Amazon or Lulu and if you like it, you can purchase it from Barnes and Noble,  Amazon, Kobo or Smashwords. All the links for purchase are available at my website.

You don't need an eReader to read my eBook, either! You can read the book now on your phone, tablet, iPad or computer using the Nook App or the Amazon Kindle App (both of which are free!). If you're using an iPad or iPod, you can get Stanza, a free eReading app and read any format that you like! Several other apps are available, too.

If nothing can replace the feel and smell of a real book for you, head on over to Lulu and pick up a slightly-larger-than-average paperback! You'll get to experience it the way it was meant to be read! eBooks can't display the little artsy touches at the beginning of each chapter or the fonts that the handwritten notes in the story use. With a physical book, you get back cover art, too!

You can follow my author page on Facebook if you would like updates on future titles and to be able to connect with me personally as well as other readers. Thanks to everyone who has encouraged me over the years and to everyone who purchased a copy of Hotel of Lost Souls and Pet!

Meme Monday: Scumbag Brain

Another installment of Meme Monday!

Today I give you Scumbag Brain:

Musing on Polyamory

 

 

Well, first, I guess I should state that I'm monogamous, but poly-inclusive. Why am I covering this topic? Well, outside of it being a part of the fiction series I'm writing, I have several polyamorous friends. Now, let me explain what I'm talking about.

Polyamory (or multiamory/polyphilia if you dislike the combination of Greek with Latin, but the word already exists, is already in common usage and you just really need to deal with it, polyglots) is the opposite of monogamy, basically. It's "the philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time."

Now, the first reaction of most people who've been raised in a monogamous society is to reject the idea as selfish, immature, unhealthy, etc. In actuality, selfishness and immaturity are counterproductive to a polyamorous lifestyle. They have no place in any healthy relationship -- and monogamous relationships are just as prone to the exact same issues. As for healthy? Any relationship can be healthy or unhealthy depending on maintenance, maturity, commitment, consent, etc. Read more about myths of polyamory.

I once didn't 'get' polyamory. I couldn't understand how you could love more than one person at a time. Then I realized how silly I was being -- of course you can! Any mother of more than one child already does. You don't stop loving your firstborn for your second, or your third, etc. Your love isn't a cup to be filled, but a bag of holding without any weight limit.

Not everyone is built to do this with romantic relationships. There are people who want to say that poly is the 'natural' state, but I feel that's a slippery slope. It falls into the narrow minded idea of 'normal.' The fact is that there are multiple states of 'natural.' 

Not all humans are naturally poly, just as not are all naturally mono or even sexual. They're all variations of 'normal.' (quick rant to poly people who pull this card: yes, one person can be everything you need in one type of a relationship, and be perfect for you. Don't go anti-mono just because you're not. That's as bad as being anti-poly.) To say otherwise is like saying everyone is naturally bisexual or everyone is heterosexual/homosexual, etc. It's just not true.

Now, to explain the different types of poly relationships:

An open relationship is when you are actively allowed to add to your existing relationship(s). A poly relationship can be closed just like a monogamous one. This is called polyfidelity. This can change according to the needs of the relationship(s)/people in them. One thing you must be in poly relationships is open and communicative. If your communication is poor, it will fail (or at least struggle until everyone is miserable).

"Swinging" is purely sexual. It's a relationship that is open to trade/swap partners or explore outside sexual relationships without attachment. Swinging can be a risk to the couple at the core if attachment occurs, as this usually occurs in couples that are not willing to share emotional relationships (and note that they are still a 'couple' -- this is a two person bond that explores outward typically). Read more on swingers.

All dynamics are different. Some groups choose to include marriage, some do not. There is no 'right' or 'wrong' as long as healthy communication and full consent are involved.

Some people use a hierarchy system while others feel that's demeaning (and how the hierarchy is established varies as well -- some by 'importance,' some love vs sex, for instance, and some by time spent).

Some are mono-poly practicing, where one member is monogamous and the other is polyamorous and the mono member is okay with the poly dating. Some are mono-poly closed, where the poly member has agreed to live monogamously to respect the wishes/belief/heart of his/her significant other.

Mono-poly relationships are tricky in that most people are jealous, but especially when one cannot understand the drive of the other. Selfishness of any kind can easily destroy the mono-poly relationship. Feeling that you aren't being allowed to explore your sexuality/ability to love on the poly's part (this person may have regular trouble in poly relationships as well, because selfishness can lead to jealousy as quickly as possessiveness does, so therapy would be in order regardless of their decision to remain mono-poly or leave to become full poly) or being unwilling to accept that the other person has different emotional needs on either part or feeling that your partner doesn't 'love you enough' because they can't prevent themselves from falling in love with someone else.

Poly people strive for an emotion currently termed 'compersion' -- this is finding joy in the happiness of those you love, unselfishly. I actually strive for that myself. I'm mostly there, but when my needs aren't being met, I lose it (which is completely normal).

Poly-poly relationships come with social stigma and are more work and maintenance. All relationships require work and maintenance. Poly people who are committed to healthy relationships are just as equipped to deal with the extra work as mono people.

Small note: Helper personalities (people who want to fix things, mediate -- people like me) can be the utter death of a relationship if they can't learn to shut up and let the others figure it out on their own. They either stress themselves out not being able to help or accidentally sabotage other people's relationships because they are trying to push for communication that the others aren't ready for. Therapists are both great and terrible in poly relationships.

Both monogamous and polyamorous relationships have the potential for amazing rewards. There is no superior/inferior here. Only what your romantic orientation leads you to. 

Musing on the Sun (satirical rant)

credit: stockxchng

credit: stockxchng

Everywhere I look, I see pro-sun propaganda. No one can deny that the sun is a life-bringing supplier of essential heat and vitamins and all things good, right?

credit: stockxchng

credit: stockxchng

Wrong! Instead, I submit that the sun is a dealer! Getting us hooked on vitamin D and artificial conditions inconsistent with the majority of the universe so that we are confined to the small sphere of existence to which it provides a constant fix.

In the meantime, it is sitting there, kept alive by the burning rage that it can't get just a little closer and snuff out our meaningless, parasitic existences. Always just a small overdose of radiation away from succeeding in ridding itself, a magnificent body of searing plasma that has no need of filthy constructs to thrive in the dark vacuum of space, of our annoyance.

Yet, without us and our ball of mud and gasses, its existence would have no meaning. The loneliness would be intolerable. So it keeps its distance, grudgingly providing us the building blocks of our inferior lives while we cower and marvel at the mixed blessing it bestows upon us.

Those of us with poor melanin production are tapped into this truth. Our skin doesn't revel in the mercurial touch of abusive Sol. It cringes and shrinks, dies and peels. Sometimes it throws up meager spotty defenses, particularly on those unfortunate enough to be born with hair the color of fire, as if in defiance of our blazing master.

 

credit: me via bitstrips

Musing On Katie's Thoughts

Head on over to my friend Katie's blog to read an interview with yours truly! Katie is a mom, a teacher, a podcaster and is venturing into the world of becoming an interviewer, too. Thanks for the interview, Katie, it was enjoyable!

 

Today I am very lucky to be interviewing my friend, and local author, H.S. Kallinger.  Mrs. Kallinger calls the Kansas City metro area home, and currently resides there with her husband and three daughters. She is currently writing the sixth book in her “The Lost Humanity Series,” while book three of the series is currently undergoing the editing process. I sat down with Mrs. Kallinger to find out a bit more about her as an author, how her series is coming along, and just how difficult it is to juggle being an author and a fulltime Mommy.

read more: http://ashleysmom-katie.blogspot.com/2013/09/hs-kallinger-interview_19.html?spref=tw

Musing on the Rapper Sword Dance

 

So, in researching things for my books, sometimes I come across something really interesting. In this case, it's the Tyneside tradition of sword dancing. Specifically the 'short sword dance' or 'rapper sword dance.' The best origin that can be gleaned is that it comes from the mining villages in Northumberland and Durham. Originally performed with rigid swords, it's unknown why they were replaced with the flexible rapper swords, although it's theorized that it was a necessity. It's uncertain what function the rapper swords had previously.

So, yeah, these guys dance with swords. Five people take hold of the handles on the ends of the swords and without letting go, perform a fast, complex dance (and provide the percussion with their feet). While it may have originally been accompanied by hornpipes, now 75% of performers use a jig (probably incorporated from Irish immigrants).

Anyway, enough talking, you can read more here and now the videos I want to share:

I love this one because of the close quarters of the pub:

Here's a talented co-ed group (I have to link because the video doesn't allow embedding)

An all-lass group:

And while it's rarely performed to a band, the Demon Barbers don't seem to care much for that tradition (or the tradition of wearing kits). This one's one of my favorites, although they start out a little slow:

I hope you've enjoyed!

Music Monday: Favorite Covers

So, today I bring you Music Monday. Song covers. I love them. They're a sign of respect, in my opinion. You love a song so much that you have to do it in tribute. Some of my favorite songs in general are covers. So, in no particular order, here are some of my favorite covers.

Song: Blue Monday

Cover Band: Orgy

Original Band: New Order

Song: Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)

Cover Band: Marilyn Manson

Original Band: Eurythmics

Song: Live and Let Die

Cover Band: Guns N' Roses

Original Band: Wings (Paul McCartney)

Song: Send Me An Angel

Cover Band: Zeromancer

Original Band: Real Life

Song: Lake of Fire

Cover Band: Nirvana
Original Band: Meat Puppets

Song: Jolene

Cover Band: The White Stripes
Original Band: Dolly Parton

Song: Imagine

Cover Band: A Perfect Circle
Original Band: John Lennon

Song: Darling Nikki

Cover Band: Foo Fighters
Original Band: Prince

Song: Creep

Cover Band: Seether
Original Band: Stone Temple Pilots

While there are many more I could list, I think this should conclude this post. What are some of your favorite covers?

Wordless Wednesday: My Hair

Wordless Wednesday: Three Girls and a Hoop

Meme Monday: Writer Leopard

I have been a bad, bad blogger! Many apologies to my readers about the gaps in my posting. As a result, I give you Meme Monday today, where I share my favorite offerings from popular internet memes.

Today, I give you, Fuck Yeah Writer Leopard:

The one that started my love of this meme

This may be a problem for me...

After making sure no one is looking

And it's almost always important.

*snicker*

Best for ideas, worst for my poor editor.

I think I've finally learned to stop doing stupid things like planning things in advance.

Yup. Right down to figuring out her class schedule and even taking free classes.

And can't write until the research is done.

“You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.” ~Ray Bradbury

At the most inconvenient times.

It's a miserable cycle.

This is how I finally got published.

Word.

And start bawling my eyes out.

Works great for inspiration.