Friday, February 4, 2011

The Hidden Growth Spurt


"My ten month old has been waking frequently at night. I'm exhausted. Help! What can I do? Is this normal?"

Basically every DDC or DDG (due date club/group) gets this question. The responses are usually flooded with confused mothers agreeing that they are going through the same thing. It also seems to be forgotten, as it's not only first time moms who ask this. Probably due to that sleep deprivation. Since pediatricians only talk about physical growth spurts, this one is almost never mentioned to moms to warn them that it's going to happen, and that really sucks.

Because it's going to happen.

I've seen it mentioned only maybe once in an 'about your baby' type of publication. The ten month developmental growth spurt. At this time in baby's life she has just started walking or talking or is making the first attempts to do so. She's typically teething and noticing the world around her even more, as well. Some babies develop separation anxiety at this age that can also contribute.

Now "ten month" is the average age, however, it can happen as early as eight months or as late as fourteen to sixteen months, depending on the child. It lasts anywhere from a week to a few months--again, depending on the child.

It's normal and it does pass. Parents who used some sort of sleep training method almost universally notice it is a complete failure during this time period. It remains ineffective for weeks to months, except in some babies, who may already have medical or psychological issues.

Parents who cosleep report getting crawled on, kicked a lot, rolled over on and just a general increase in sleep activity. Often, a wide-awake baby greets them with the desire to play and or nurse at four in the morning.

Parents who do not cosleep report babies who start escaping their crib, get limbs entrapped in their sleep, cry more often, need to nurse more frequently or simply sit up and start playing at random intervals at night.

Temperament tends to dictate baby's response to this time period--fussy babies fuss, laid back babies entertain themselves, clingy babies cling, etc. All in all, it leads to the same result: tired parents!

Responsive parents seem to have the best luck with babies with shorter times in this phase, but certainly not always. Some previously laid back babies become high needs.

"...even though babies achieve this sleep maturity some time during the last half of the first year, many still wake up. The reason? Painful stimuli, such as colds and teething pain, become more frequent. Major developmental milestones, such as sitting, crawling, and walking, drive babies to "practice" their new developmental skills in their sleep. Then between one and two years of age, when baby begins to sleep through the above-mentioned wake-up stimuli, other causes of night waking occur, such as separation anxiety and nightmares. " 1

amirali

This post is really meant to just give a head's up and an explanation as to why it happens. The 'how to get him back to sleep?!' is, unfortunately, so variable as to not be able to be answered in general (like most baby questions). Different babies have different needs to get through this time period.

Feed the baby (hunger at night continues well into the second and even third year for most children), make sure they're safe and comfortable and try to sleep through the crazies as much as you can. Some babies will let you sleep while they play until they're ready to sleep again (my first was like that--her growth spurt lasted about a month or a month and a half) and some will be super demanding (my second, whose phase lasted about two weeks and I was about to start crying with her by the end of it) and everything in between. The only constant is that "training" is totally ineffective during this time (not that it ever achieves the desired goal of a content, sleeping baby, regardless of appearances) and is basically just torture to everyone involved.

Try to prepare with your significant other for this time period if you can and try not to plan to start any taxing activities that could be really messed up by lack of sleep if at all possible. And just remember--like any other growth spurt, it will pass!

13 comments:

  1. I don't remember reading anything on this particular growth spurt, so as mama to an almost eleven month old, I'm thankful for it. It may have passed already, as I have a competent walker who never has slept more than three or fours on a stretch, so I hardly notice frequent wakings. On the other hand, it may have something to do with the fact that she has wanted to be up until midnight on a regular basis lately. I'm glad to know that some changes in the sleep pattern around this time are to be expected. Informative as always!

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  2. Thank you. I'm going through this exact same thing. Separation anxiety is starting. Lots of crawling and cruising and daddy mommy baby (whether or not its actually meant for those people). Waking up at night as much as when she was a newborn. Ugh.

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  3. My friend and I have babies in this stage right now. We thought something was wrong. It's reassuring to read that it's normal and it will pass!

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  4. And I'm going through this now too with my LO. She has nursed every 90 minutes this evening and wakes just screaming. She is really into walking (with assistance), totally doing the drop toy pick up game, and talking. We also think her top teeth are coming in...she will be 11 mo tomorrow...

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    1. Oh, goodness, I hope you can get some sleep soon! Just one night at a time, and it will pass before you know it!

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  5. My LO will be 11 mo tomorrow and is totally doing this. She's nursed every 75 min this evening and when she wakes is screaming. We think its teething for sure, but she is also totally into walking with help, she's starting to talk, and does things like wave and so on. Glad to know we aren't crazy or bad parents that can't get our daughter to sleep through the night...

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  6. Isn't it amazing how we are made to feel like "bad parents" if our child isn't sleeping through the night at 10months!
    Thank you for this post!!! People keep telling me not to nurse at night that my LO doesn't need it- to let him cry because I'm creating a monster! And look at all that is going on in his mind and in his development!!! He needs love support and nurturing and honestly- it's an inconvenience to get up at night being a working mommy- but I will do anything for this little guy- if it means working through a developmental phase- so be it. Thank you for letting me see that my guy instinct isn't "broken" :)

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    1. It's sad how we're told that we have to choose between sanity and what we know is right for our babies. It's a really hard balance (especially at this age! We need sleep!), but it's over and gone so fast that it almost seems like you dreamed it (once you're getting to dream again :) ). Your instinct is definitely not broken!

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  7. This post was so helpful. Here I thought I was screwing up the sleep schedule or not feeding him enough. It turns out, he's just being a baby boy and I'm just a tired momma! I keep reminding myself that I won't have my 4am dance partner much longer, so even when it's hard it's still good.

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  8. Thanks for this post! My son will be 11 months in a few days and has been waking nearly every hour the last four days, I thought it was just teething but he wants to nurse every time he wakes and he's never been a comfort nurser. Hoping this ends soon!

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    1. I hope it passes quickly and you can get some sleep again! I have a newborn again, so boy do I understand!

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