Saturday, September 24, 2011

Why Natural Birth Advocates Are Passionate

photo courtesy of stockxchng
A lot of people misconstrue natural child birth advocates as judgmental (and frankly, everyone is judgmental to some degree--it's a natural defense mechanism) when in fact, the passion they're displaying is intended to be protective and comes from a place of caring.

Let's imagine you know of a few different hair and nail salons. One is super popular, even though it's more expensive and the satisfaction rating is lower than the other three in the area. But they give out 'free' cappuccinos, lattes, mochas or tea with every visit. I put free in quotes because the cost is actually recouped in the more expensive service.

Now, you know a few people come out with awesome hair, exactly what they wanted, but most people end up being talked into a haircut they didn't want or just having their hair messed up completely. They went in hoping to go blonde and ended up red or wanted their natural nails painted and styled, but the manicurist does such a bad job that they have to have acrylics to cover up the damage.

 photo courtesy of Beaudenoir at stockxchng

Women keep going back, though, because the place is great for covering their asses when they screw up. Women actually leave believing that the place saved them from what they actually wanted (and would have looked far better on them). Not to mention the free drink! It's almost perfect.

In the other salons, women go in and while a few have to go to the popular salon to get a mistake fixed up, the vast majority come out happy and with the hair and nails that they wanted--or even better than they expected.

Would you recommend the popular salon? Wouldn't you try to stop your friends and family from going there, knowing what a terrible experience so many other people report having?

photo courtesy of stockxchng
Unless you're a contrary person and/or refusing to follow the analogy, you probably just said, "Of course not!"

Now, I chose hair salon because I always have freaking awful experiences at the ones I can afford and most people will use one at some point in their life. But any business where that sort of thing went on, we would find unacceptable and try to warn the people we care about to stay away from. It would be really frustrating watching friend after friend go in anyway and end up with the same experience. Can you imagine all the times you had to bite your tongue because their hair looked mediocre or worse, but they were trying to only see the positive in it?

Well, if you add in the number of women and babies who are injured or who die who shouldn't, that is where the intense passion comes from. It's not just about the NCB advocate's own experiences (which are subject to far more ridicule and judgment than any other mother's birth choices), it's about protecting every woman's experience. It's about protecting the people we love and the loved ones of others as well.

That isn't to say that there aren't beautiful births that have necessary interventions, pain medication or happen surgically! The NCB is never speaking against necessary deviations, but those which could be avoided. Very often, we started out at the popular salon ourselves and that's why we recommend the others. Out of love.

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