Interesting finds, thoughts, rants and ramblings of a mom who doesn't quite fit in anywhere except with her muse and her family.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Inspired by a friend's question/rant in a local parenting circle:
Every time you
shame someone for dressing in a comfortable way because you don't like
the way they look: you are shaming our daughters. You are teaching them
that they will never be enough, their bodies are not good enough. Every
woman out there is a daughter. She was a child once. I say, if a woman
has the confidence in herself to wear a bikini,
then she damn well has not only every right, but should have every
blessing to do so as well. I don't care how you feel about yourself or
what your idea of beauty is--she has the right to be happy with HERSELF,
confident and comfortable. For the sake of our daughters: STOP JUDGING
WOMEN ON THEIR APPEARANCES. Stop the body shaming. Stop the propaganda.
Just because you don't like it: that means nothing. My husband thinks
I'm beautiful. Many men and women do. I don't, because of all the people
who told me I shouldn't. Every one who said, "That person is okay to
wear that, but not HER, because she's too fat/bony/paunchy/square/round/curvy/small/flat/tan/pale/dark/busty/sexy/old/ugly."
Every time you shame someone in this way, you are shaming me, yourself,
every elder woman, every mother, maiden and child.
justify your behavior with, "Well, I agree that I shouldn't wear
[whatever]." That is YOUR problem, just as my feelings that I should not
be seen are MINE. Stop perpetuating it. Let our daughters grow to be
beautiful, regardless of how this person or that feels about them.
Everyone is beautiful to someone. Even someone you would pull out to
express what you consider hideous: there is someone who finds her
And, because they are so often forgotten in the body image concerns: the same is all true of men and boys. Boys suffer from body image issues and anorexia, too--but it's not considered "okay" or understood. Forced to suffer in silence, expected to just tolerate the slurs about their physical appearances, boys and men are victimized by this unacceptable prejudice as well.
And for all that is good in the world, stop looking
at it through the lens of Hollywood standards. And stop hurting
yourself by applying those same standards to you. Be healthy. Be happy.
And don't let anyone tell you that you don't deserve to be, just because
you don't fit into their narrow mold of beauty.