Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Body Shaming

Inspired by a friend's question/rant in a local parenting circle: 
http://prints.encore-editions.com/0/500/william-bouguereau-european-master-painter-la-frileuse-chilly-girl-1879.jpgEvery time you shame someone for dressing in a comfortable way because you don't like the way they look: you are shaming our daughters. You are teaching them that they will never be enough, their bodies are not good enough. Every woman out there is a daughter. She was a child once. I say, if a woman has the confidence in herself to wear a bikini, then she damn well has not only every right, but should have every blessing to do so as well. I don't care how you feel about yourself or what your idea of beauty is--she has the right to be happy with HERSELF, confident and comfortable. For the sake of our daughters: STOP JUDGING WOMEN ON THEIR APPEARANCES. Stop the body shaming. Stop the propaganda.

Just because you don't like it: that means nothing. My husband thinks I'm beautiful. Many men and women do. I don't, because of all the people who told me I shouldn't. Every one who said, "That person is okay to wear that, but not HER, because she's too fat/bony/paunchy/square/round/curvy/small/flat/tan/pale/dark/busty/sexy/old/ugly." Every time you shame someone in this way, you are shaming me, yourself, every elder woman, every mother, maiden and child.
Don't justify your behavior with, "Well, I agree that I shouldn't wear [whatever]." That is YOUR problem, just as my feelings that I should not be seen are MINE. Stop perpetuating it. Let our daughters grow to be beautiful, regardless of how this person or that feels about them. Everyone is beautiful to someone. Even someone you would pull out to express what you consider hideous: there is someone who finds her beautiful.

And, because they are so often forgotten in the body image concerns: the same is all true of men and boys. Boys suffer from body image issues and anorexia, too--but it's not considered "okay" or understood. Forced to suffer in silence, expected to just tolerate the slurs about their physical appearances, boys and men are victimized by this unacceptable prejudice as well.
And for all that is good in the world, stop looking at it through the lens of Hollywood standards. And stop hurting yourself by applying those same standards to you. Be healthy. Be happy. And don't let anyone tell you that you don't deserve to be, just because you don't fit into their narrow mold of beauty.


  1. I love this post, it's beautifully written and very empowering. I'm not skinny. I'm not obese, either, but I'm definitely not skinny.

    Your post has embodied the spirit with which I try to raise my two girls (and baby boy when he gets older), that all bodies are different, all bodies are beautiful, and that to love yourself is of prime importance. I am 5'8, but I have a thick skeletal structure. 125 would look like death on me. Could I stand to lose some weight? Sure, but I don't walk around commenting on what a fatso I am. I don't want my children to be focused on their body shapes. A healthy diet and their sports they play will handle that automatically for them. We try to encourage healthy eating, but we also let them have chocolate from time to time. My oldest makes healthy choices out of wanting to, not out of being forced to, and she is a happier kid for it. Kudos to you on this post!!

    1. Thank you!

      I'm glad it could speak to you and I agree. Of course, I have a post on chocolate coming up in a few weeks ;) A little chocolate now and then is actually good for you! :D I'd rather my kids eat chocolate than straight candy (although they get some of that occasionally, too).


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